12 June 2013

4 you know you love me

so's i had this realization that if the crux of my work is that people need to be fully realized characters in biography, then onassis maybe cannot be a pirate all of the time. seeking a fuller depiction, i went to the closest highly reliable source: the made-for-television-film. and so i have watched all 1:58:10 of ONASSIS: THE RICHEST MAN IN THE WORLD. and because i love you, i will now spare you a similar fate by capturing for you the spirit of the film in clips totaling 33 seconds. behold.


UH-MAZING OPENING CREDITS!

THE FIRST WIFE!
   

 DR QUINN as CALLAS!
   

 JACKIE!
   

 WEDDING OF THE YEAR!

onassis gets droopy eyelids and dies.
jackie wears leather to the funeral.
THE END.

4 comments:

Linda said...

I LOVE THIS! Onassis kind of looks like a grey version of Robert Downey Jr. (side note...and so THEN I had to look that actor up, and according to IMDB, he was going to be in TWO separate Antonio Banderas movies -Zorro and Desperado - before dying. Clearly Antonio Banderas killed your Onassis actor.)

I only wish I could play these sound clips louder while at work.. I'm tempted to play the Jane Seymour loudly one anyway, just because it is awesome.

oline said...

i knew you would. and yes, it is ESSENTIAL that you pump up the volume here to really get the potency of raul julia's snaps. also, i totally want to make 'TIME! I NEED MORE TIME!!!' my ring tone. AND... omg. am i wrong for wanting to recreate the 'you're nothing but a turkish peasant!'/slap/slap/KISS scene in my real life?

oline said...

dear god. did i just publicly cop to wanting made-for-tv-movie inspired foreplay? why, yes. yes, i did.

Joy said...

Oh my goodness, that opening credits music! And the snapping! And the face slap! Oh, Dr. Quinn, you are the gift that never stops giving!