i hate, loathe, despise and abominate birds. this is a well known fact.
fyi, if a park is entirely composed of concrete it's pretty safe to say it doubles as a bird bathroom.
so this was, admittedly, a rather squalid scene.
in retrospect, the unfolding of events seems quite obvious, but i was nonetheless taken aback at the time when, whilst i sat there industriously working away... A BIRD SHAT ON ME.
i'm not even exaggerating. this wasn't like a bird shat near me. or beside me. or just beyond where i was. no, no. the bird shat on me. there was a gushing noise and then suddenly a heaviness in my hair and a white blob on my dress and, literally, a whole spray of shit across page two of version four of my jackie assignment.
the good thing about being shat on? the day can only get better from there.