28 January 2013

4 prohibition

so i'm actually on probation at school. i assure you, this isn't nearly so badass as it sounds.

because i had the audacity to dream that the "bring your original transcripts" ultimatum didn't apply to me and, accordingly, didn't bring my original transcripts to enrollment, i am on probation. meaning, i have this orange paper and i need to produce my transcripts. 

the school isn't nearly so worried about this as me. there's a lot of upheaval in my life at present so i'm making a Massive Drama out of every little thing. i've emailed them diligently, informing them of my having placed an order for my transcripts, checking to see whether the transcripts have arrived, responding in horror at the news that they hadn't, sending prompt reassurances that i would order them again. 

the university of chicago was surprisingly amenable to this plan, apologizing that the transcripts hadn't arrived and offering to resend them at no extra cost. 

mississippi state, on the other hand, has responded in a manner that is the bureaucratic equivalent of "bless your heart." there are to be no refunds, no extra copies, no nothing. i will get nothing and like it. they have made that quite clear. 

this is where our story takes a turn. because my mother is going to see joe and burvil and, in her eagerness to put at least one of my mini-dramas to bed, she has volunteered to go to starkville and retrieve my transcript. 

in the interest of maximizing adventure, she's taking joe and burvil. they are calling it a "field trip." 

ya'll, there are so many ways this could end in disaster, i can't even begin. 

will they be able to find the building? i wonder, will they all three go in or will joe and burvil remain in the car? it's a teeny tiny space, the alcove in front of the registrar's window. 

i absolutely cannot reconcile my memories of standing in that alcove in front of that window in the winter of 2003 (wearing a white 4H shirt, to which my friend donovan said mischievously, "you know everyone can see your black bra"), waiting on transcripts for my grad school applications, with the visual of my elderly grandparents and my mother standing in front of that same window in the winter of 2013. 

will my handwritten/scanned "the woman bearing this is my mother, please give her my transcripts" note actually result in their getting my transcripts? will my mother pitch a fit if it doesn't? will this necessitate her facetiming me from the registrar's office? will i, in london in the middle of the night, have to attest to the fact that that woman, in starkville, is my mother? 

never mind the aftermath! will they be able to find their way home? will they get lunch at applebee's? will they be able to make it out of oktibbeha county traffic ticket-free? 


and, as is the case pretty much across the board here right now, i've no answers. in truth, i've nothing but wonder. that this has happened. that it is happening. that i am here. that that's of enough importance to my mother that she'll drive to starkville, mississippi rather than trust the U.S. mail. 


Linda said...

Be comforted! Your 2013 boobs look as good as 2003 boobs.

and I LOVE this. the story, i mean. not your boobs. well, those too. I'll just go now.

oline said...

they got my transcripts! victory!
and thank you for all the boobliments.

Meggie said...

Wow, I am amazed they got the transcripts. MSU just threw federal law out the window there. LOL. And yes, I got that federal law drilled into my head for the four years I worked for housing. No, I can't tell a worried dad that his daughter is out sleeping with a different man every night. No, I can't tell the mom that her son is a disgusting pig and his bathroom qualifies as a science experiment. Unh.

Linda said...

woo hoo!!!!