"the guardians of democracy."
"the nation is never going to elect an indian version of kenneth the page for president."
"this is like the hologram of this year."
"it's filled with gay people, bikers, tourists, and chickens."
"you have to make day three a slut day."
"down to the webbing, man. down to the webbing."
"if it wasn't ofr your shirts, i would question your devotion to mab!"
"i will eat something weird if obama wins arizona."
"the american chorus... it's way less organized than the greek chorus."
"that was stirring american music."
"yes, i thought something was happening."
"but no! it's just a nisson commercial."
"it's not dated. it's just shitty."
"he beat 'sometimes god makes rape happen.'"
"i mean, you know when dicksville-notch and gobbler split the vote..."
"i just don't think this is her wheelhouse."
"don't flash your countdown in front of me, scream 'election alert' and then tell me utah voted for romney."
"those are parenthesis of shame."
"that's like lyrics from a nickleback song."
"triumphant music! oh, it's liberty mutual."
"we are like the ancients sitting under a gnarled oak tree as their grandchildren ask for stories of the war... and they mean the iraq war."
"you guys, i have to pee. but i'm afraid i'll pee and he'll win the election."
"trunk nutz- those are not new."
"it is like the vagina of missouri just shut on him."
"FUCK THE MILLIONAIRES."
"fuck you, potato hoarding nazis."
"my response was similar to my response to the news that there would be more star wars movies. this was like episode 7 of the frenchman with the salty fingers."
"high five, guys... AMERICA."
"i'm happier than i thought i would be tonight."
"i think the simultaneous appearance of barack obama AND the tamale guy was a miracle moment."
"i was confused. because i didn't know if i was happy because obama won or because the tamale guy was here."
"that's right, sad blonde lady!"
"whose name is inevitably 'megan.'"
"they are the tamales of victory."
"the tamales of democracy!"
"there's all the people i hate... at a table."
"i'm allergic to democracy."
"apparently that's fox news versus karl rove, which is, like, the greatest fight of all time."
"what's this like in cities that aren't chicago?"
"it's the difference between taking the castle and defending the castle."
"you'd think they'd have excellent makeup artists."
"... or at least human beings with brains."
"welcome to america! our emperor lives in a white house."
"i'm going to post-pee again... for democracy."
"is this a commercial... or a campaign video... or a preview for lincoln?"