28 August 2012

6 wored out


oh, ya''ll. do you have gossip fatigue? i have major gossip fatigue.

jmills and i lamented about this during our skype date last week then meggie and i were emailing about it yesterday.

but then maybe you don't even care about gossip so you've no idea the number of bombshells we've been dealt. let me summarize...

there was a point where johnny depp's separation (or whatever it is you do legally when you're not married to someone but have children with them and have to make public declarations when you drift apart) was the biggest story of the summer.

then john travolta was accused of molesting a dozen masseurs and that was HUGE, though it didn't get nearly as much coverage as it should have because shortly thereafter...

KATIE DIVORCED TOM, which was all like ohmygod until...

k.stew got caught necking with her director and the gossip world basically EXPLODED. with conspiracy theories, awkward public statements, slut-shaming, and lip-biting. which was THE BIGGEST THING EVER until...

prince harry was photographed playing strip billiards in vegas.

that right there, people, that is THE GREATEST SUMMER OF GOSSIP OF ALL TIME. for real. (to say nothing of katy perry dating john meyer, whatever is going down with chris brown and rihanna, li.lo's return to "film," and taylor swift dating a high schooler.)

we're not likely to see it's equal again for a long, long while- if ever- so i hope you've been enjoying yourselves.

if you have, then you're probably just as tired as me and meggie and jmills. did you see how capital letters weren't even needed by the time i got round to good old hot harry? because, by that point, i was spent.

there's rumors that "something worse" is going to emerge from hot harry's sin weekend and, i kid you not, i can't even make guesses as to what that might be. i'm so gossip fatigued that i'm experiencing a total imagination fail.

(this is also tied into the fact that there are some pretty enormous celebrity privacy issues wrapped in with the harry business, and i'm preoccupied enough with sex toboggans that to fully engage with them would ravage my brain.)

meggie thinks it's either sex or drugs. with a corgi. wearing a nazi uniform, which would indeed be worse than the third in line cupping his balls and bending over an american floozie.

but, really, i don't even care. and i'm not sure if that's because it's harry and i like him and there's something more desperate about his story that was missing in the others (with the possible exception of travolta's [and, dear me, i don't want to be lumping hot harry in with travolta!]) or if i really am just shell-shocked.

what are we to make of the fact that, all summer, all this other chicanery has had the effect of making kim kardashian seem mute?

6 comments:

Linda said...

but I mean, way better than that summer of DEATH, right???

Meggie said...

Don't forget that no LiLo is officially a suspect in the jewelry heist from last weekend. That came out yesterday.

Here is my thing... If you let The Cracken in your house then you should pretty much expect to have your stuff stolen and it should be an official waiver that you can't sue her because you knew what you were getting into. It would be like you sleeping with Parasite Hilton and being mad that you got herpes.

Meggie said...

I need an edit button... That was *now* not *no*.

jmillewitz said...

I can't believe you left out the Jen + Justin. Brangelina engagements and subsequent race to the alter. Or did you leave it out, cause like me, you are choosing to ignore it?

oline said...

actually i left it out because i completely forgot about it. which proves my point that this has been a gossip glut and i can take no more.

Meggie said...

Well, then you also need to add in Justin and Jessica's engagement.