I’m pretty sure jmilliwitz would have my head if there were no new 90210 this week. so huzzah! new 90210 pour vous. but… yes, as pee-wee said, everybody has a big but (OH.MY.GOD. if you do not get that joke, click on that link rightnow. do not pass go. do not collect $100. click rightnow. most important allusion of 1985.)
…because it’s labor dabor next week and i’ma be in vegas (presumably sleazing it up with hot harry) we’re gonna take this one in two parts.
so where are we in 90210 time? geez, it’s been eons. senior year is dragging on forev, non? and it’s, like, what? episode 2, people. episode 2. we have been seniors for one full episode and already i’m spent. the betrayals alone are exhausting.
do you realize how many betrayals we have in play? there’s david-donna-nikki, which has been resolved for the moment. dylan-kelly-brenda’s obviously the biggie. and, omg, did you forget about rick and frenchbrenda? do not forget, friends!
this is 90210. no one is really ever gone, unless they move to melrose place or plug for noxema. luke perry left the show, what, nine times? and he always came back.
as far as problems to be solved this week… loads. how to find out information about the dude you’re crushing on by asking all his friends about him. how to piss off school administration with your winnibego. things not to say about your friends to tabloid tv reporters. oh, and how to take your SATs.
so, sharpen your #2s (did i just age myself? do #2 pencils still exist? does the american educational system still rely heavily upon scantrons? are the SATs electronic? SO.MANY.QUESTIONS.) and let’s get to solvicating.