"they should always have the olympics in central standard time."
"USA WOMEN'S GYMNASTICS WON GOLD!!!!!!!!! i almost cried twice. and then i went to bed. it was very very fun."
"does london make everyone introspective?"
"am i wrong for thinking his teeth look wooden?"
"i was thinking rhinoceros, so no."
"nazism is something that should be shared among friends. unlike herpes. you can keep herpes."
"what the hell is this world coming to when even in real life, dylan mckay ends up with the wrong woman?"
"sword fights are fun until someone gets hurt. and by someone, i mean my candle."
"well, i've had 'roids and coke and ice cream and no sleep..."
"he does not do totes adorbs."
"i don't know about their tribes, but i will vouch for their pancakes."
"if i was in a wheelchair, this would be a lot more fun."
"they're freedom feet and the puddles go in and out of them."
"i was only in it for the olive."
"apparently i’ve got this weird sadness about the end of your apartment."
"you can't break off your dick and live that long."
"they're the assholes of the sea."
"the animal kingdom is fucked up, not just their dicks."
"you'd be on the tube and you'd see women whose faces just look straight out of beowulf."
"it seems like fucking tribal all the way back, man."
"i totally love her now. i won’t fault her for STILL talking about her wedding. maybe it is a canadian thing."
"but you cannot underestimate the severity of stranger poop."
"i can’t even email stuff like this to my husband."
"i was just scared i admitted that i thought something kim kardashian said sounded remotely not stupid to anyone other than you."
"i was like, 'as a doctor, i don't think you should have fashion nails.'"
"i'm just so appalled that someone would vent their frustration about their nipples on the 'leaky boobs' facebook page."
"i had to go to grad school at the university of chicago to become prom king."
"blah. this is obvious, because we know oline by now, and we know that she does not fuck lightly."