17 July 2012

7 dainty, ladylike, minimal snot


when people ask why i cut my hair, i'm all like "eh, i wanted to." which strikes me as weirdly selfish, which- in turn- strikes me as ridiculous, because it's MY hair.

i've been in the workforce for eight years now. that breaks down to three years of emotional abuse and five years of verbal. which is maybe not the best tally to have.

yesterday, the old man said the most sexist thing he has ever said to me. that's pretty rich coming from someone who has called me "a dumb broad" with such frequency over the last five years that i am now able to laugh it off.

but this was different. it was meant to be a joke and in a different context it maybe could have been. but because it was coming from my boss, because it was said at work, because i am a woman, it made me feel like total shit.

a matter made more frustrating by the fact that there was no one to complain to and i knew i couldn't complain without crying and i wasn't about to cry at work, and so i instead cried the whole 3 mile walk home.

dainty, ladylike tears with minimal snot.

what i realized was this: sexism isn't necessarily what someone says so much as how what they have said makes you feel.

this joke was about my hair. my hair that i love, but which has had the interesting side-effect of becoming some political statement i didn't realize i was making.

in the last NLB, the dane and i both misread a line in sensei's story and thought a new character he was introducing had short hair. we hurrahed this in the biggest possible way. then it turned out we were wrong, thus, launching us into a diatribe against the lack short-haired female characters in literature. we lobbied sensei hard to cut this character's locks.

(read THIS. immediately. now. go.)

the number one comment women have made about my hair is that they wish they could cut theirs. that they've always loved short hair. that this is the haircut they've always wanted since they were little girls.

you guys, that is SO SAD!

ladies, cut your fucking hair!

last thing: i told someone what the old man said and she told me a story in turn. about how, though she was married and had a young kid, she was once propositioned for sex by a guy at work.

i was the kid. that woman was my mother.

7 comments:

Linda said...

Your crappy bosses make my blood boil. Like, perpetually.

Also, I love this post's title.

Also, I love your mother.

Katie C said...

I wanted a like button for linda's comment. but then I realized the whole world isn't fb. so instead I will say- ditto to lindear's sentiments...

Linda said...

"then I realied the whole world isn't fb". KClen- that happens to me more than I'd like to admit!!

Anonymous said...

don't even know what he said, but desperately want to punch your boss

oline said...

"i realized the whole world isn't facebook." and... quoted.

and don't worry, i watched a lot of mary tyler moore and felt much better :)

jmillewitz said...

Oh Old Man, just when I think you are a redeemable person because you are nice to Oline, you go and remind you why I hated you on sight.

Please tell me that you commented on his hair in return.

I also love your mom.

oline said...

dammit. how did i not think to comment on his hair? i'll file that away for next time.