"i would rather pull out all my hairs one by one... ALL OVER MY BODY than let you all read my textbook."
"my leg hair is beautiful!"
"if you write that down, specify that it came from austin and not from me."
"weather was good. no fights. no racism."
"and there's buddhas everywhere... and water slides."
"even the hilton was kind of magical in a weird buddhist disney way."
"what the fuck is going on? it's like a pirate bar."
"immediate fucking! because, c'mon, you can't have us read that story 87,000 times and not do him."
"BOOM! that's maph in a sentence."
"you can put an ad in the newspaper, fine, but you might as well put an ad on your ass and wear pants the whole time, that's how much good it's going to do you."
"and then you find a space penis with a vagina face."
"no, we NLBed... to verb that."
"who know that poetry was the way to go in maph?"
"oline was like 'i'm going to go into biography' and i was like 'i'm going to do whatever the fuck...'"
"and i was like BRRRRR."
"it's just like all the weirdest black people in chicago outside that window right now."
"when we go to hyde park, it should totally be a musical."
"did anyone in the babysitters club have short hair?"
"not claudia or stacey."
"or mallory or maryanne."
"DEFINITELY not dawn."
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT????"
"good to know. short-haired girls, underrepresented in literature."
"gosh, every time i go into the kitchen i feel like i'm committing a sex crime."
"oddly, you went to mordor and brought back a ring."
"what does that mean for middle earth?"
"why are your footnotes in roman numerals and increasingly byzantine signifiers?"
'there's another weird black guy."
"that's the beauty of patriarchy. we let you do all the work."