20 January 2012

1 deep deep thoughts from the naked lady bar: "i'm telling you, 2010 is going to be our year!!!" (ie. the greatest naked lady bar of our lives)



"i'm not saying i'm competing with you, i just have a smaller, arts & crafts level compared to your industrial strength death spiral."

"it closes many doors and cuts out many possibilities... it's great."

"i have become quite the horticulturalist about cherry trees."

"it's like a whole package...  a death spiral that you can sell to others."

"no... it's a legitimate conversation."

"there may be something to this nautical tradition, guys."

"i finished that book and i was like 'what is that feeling?'"

"it's like a pixie stick of anglophilia."

"and they're well-rounded assholes."

"oh no, he's straight up asshole."

"that would be a level of wealth with which i am completely unacquainted."

"two servants?!"

"the end of that book crushed me to a smidgen of myself. i was just lanced."

"you're the pus sucked from said boil. that's what remains of the day is like."

"i'm really sad agatha christie is dead. that was my reaction to that news."

"art is evocative and it's weird that you just made that allusion just now."

"it's like the japanese national anthem..."
"was that all about sexy times?"
"would that the japanese national anthem were all, oh my god, you're so hot."
"image that at the dais at the olympics."
"i'm really impressed that your mind immediately went to the olympic dais."
"i mean, that's where national anthems really matter."

"so it's british teachers teaching american kids about japanese culture in chicago."

"i don't want to talk about my state. oh god no, i don't want to talk about my state."

"when the sistine chapel is in your house..."
"it is really hard to have a leg to stand on."

"that's all 'i thought buddhism was a holdout.'"

"where's the tamale guy?"

"in japan,  buddhism is really just a scam."

"the good thing about buddhism is it doesn't have a lot of 'i'll kill those people' passages so it's not all about mass slaughter like christianity."

"jesus years..."

"i think they're only doing the rich people in 3-d."

"now you laugh but you're going to feel silly if i'm right."

"we're on the sea floor. we're as far down as we can go."

"1,000 feet!"
"i think it was 12,000 feet."
"well then, 1,000 feet doesn't seem so impressive does it?"

"watch me draw a 3-dimensional box..."

"look! you can experience depth! well, hey, look, i can do depth all by myself."

"it's a box-off."

"we can already see that. that has been in movies since 1913."

"there were like multiple levels of floating forest..."

"you drink salted milk because you hate good things."
"you and your group."

"i think it was the one with the magic balls."

"so you prefer the christian roller coasters to the buddhist?"

"this is so straightforward and legit that i actually end up having respect for you."

"since the love birds... the flock of joy... what are they?"
"flock of seagulls."
"dana, the most uncool thing you've ever said is 'i'm not into flock of seagulls.' flock of seagulls is like the da vinci code."

"you are so cool, man. compared to me."
"what? i'm wearing argyle and khaki pants."

"you're so cool you've wrapped that shit back around."
"i've wrapped that shit around."
"right round, right round."

"you said this, which i understand is canadian."

"i don't eat pork outside of memphis."

"did we miss the tamale guy?"

"and i wasn't even drunk when i wrote this."

"shut up, you've never even had canadian bacon."

"i can print it out and take it to my home and put it in my pants."

"confidential doesn't include me."

"i am an artificial fat substitute or i am the internet. there is no middle ground."

"i don't want to think of a child bursting out of her head."
"no, i mean in a clear way."

"for athena or croftie, i think i would be very fluid-free."

"like when a thing just comes out of your brain. what do you call that?"
"a thought?"

"they literally live in a dell."

"more diagrams!"

"maybe they spoke like they live in the shire."
"well, they kind of do live in the shire."

"i'm telling you, 2010 is going to be our year!!!... 2012."
"oh my god, our year has passed!"
"2010!"
"i am getting that tattooed on my ass."
"we've already peaked."
"nothing particular happened to me in that year but i'm going to get it tattooed on my ass."
"maybe we peaked too soon?"
"so, in prague, you're supposed to eat a lot of bread."

"i don't want to insult you, but in this moment right now with your coats like that you kind of look like stalin and roosevelt at yalta."

"is the tamale guy not coming?"

"the blanket... such as it was draped... indicated that the man had a right leg but no left."

"clearly she was pretty proud of her thighs and that was fine."

"there were a hundred people."
"there were twenty-five."

"i mean, today's american college student... WHOA."

"no, there were many gallons of other things."

"if anything was ever meant to be a gif..."

"i only babysat for people who had hbo."

"even thought it's cool, it's an academic paper so you shouldn't be so slack-jaw."

"these terms wouldn't fly in our discourse community."

"well... i've peed, so i can laugh now."

"i feel like this was your comeuppance for declaring 2010 the best year of our lives."

"oh please, can you get the hiccups every time we're in the naked lady bar?"

"you do say fucking a lot."
"i do! i do! that's my thing. i'm like, this year i'm not going to say fucking so much. i don't know how i'm doing so far. i guess i'll see tomorrow when i read the quotes."

"you know, i can only identify about half the things as me when i read them the day after."

"i think i've truly been better with the fucking tonight."

"i don't know, there's been a lot of fucking tonight."

"more less?"

"where is that tamale guy?"
"hola!"
"TAMALE GUY!"
"i mean, it is about time."

"that was amazing. it was like something you've would've done had you ever learned zulu. you can't just make that shit up. it's like something you have to have learned in the tribe... i guess i say shit a lot too."

"no, mostly it's really early for the fucking and i feel like you seldom say that and ass, like never."

"it's like cunt, fuck and then everything else is 3rd."
"shit is kind of higher than bitch and dick."
"because fuck is cute right now."
"and you can do something with it."

"so wait, your new years eve resolution was to say fuck less and your's was to say cunt more. 2010... it's our year."

"you guys are like the hebrews."

"i can't even handle tonight. i mean, not even."

1 comment:

Osutein said...

I want all of that engraved on my tombstone. Because I can't really remember which were the ones I said. I mean, besides the ones about Japan and argyle sweaters. I know I said those.