16 November 2011

5 Movies You Really Should've Seen By Now If You Want To Consider Yourself A Grown Person: Anne of Green Gables/Anne of Avonlea

yeah. i went there. and all three of the men in the room just shrieked in horror.

but i've solid reasons. and only one of them is this...

let's break it down.

CANADA! pretty!


but more importantly...

if you're a woman currently between the ages of 25-80 who has seen AofGG/AofA- particularly if you're a creative woman, absolutely if you're a writer- it is likely that your impression of romantic love (along with your appreciation for red hair and puffed sleeves)...

...was fundamentally shaped by the relationship between anne shirley and gilbert blythe. no lie.

think about it. there are very few real life examples of creative women in loving relationships with supportive men (f. scott and zelda? t.s. and vivienne? yeah, no). there are equally few in fiction- excepting little women, which totally doesn't count as it features one of the great romantic travesties in literature, because we all know there is no way in hell jo march would've married the stodgy professor friedrich "fritz" bhaer when she could've had theodore "laurie" (christian bale) laurence instead.

so, yes, if you're a woman currently between the ages of 25-80 who has seen AofGG/AofA, then it is integral to your views of romantic love.

it is also directly responsible for your hatred of purple prose.

if you're a woman currently between the ages of 25-80 who has not seen AofGG/AofA, ohmygod, get on this! you're not a grown-up until you have! how can you appreciate the powers of cordial or the beauty of puff-sleeves? how can you ever know to write what you know?

and, yes, you have to watch them both. because, while AofA is far superior to AofGG, you can't really appreciate the inevitable dawning of love in AofA without first seeing AofGG and this:

if you're a man married to or dating a woman currently between the ages of 25-80 who has seen AofGG/AofA, well then, watch them immediately because they are obviously integral to her views of romantic love. really, if you're a human being, you should watch them but especially if you're a man. otherwise, dear men, how will you ever know that the greatest longing of a woman's heart is to rebuff your marriage proposals only to hear of your scarlet fever diagnosis, reverse her decision and then bring you her manuscript on your deathbed?

also, i swear, no one on earth fully comprehends the physical sensation of extreme discomfort until they've watched megan follows as anne shirley doing a dramatic recitation of "the highwayman." it is the only thing in the worth more frightening than wait until dark

except for maybe this:

watch it. love it. write what you know.


Anonymous said...

you know what you've now done, right? I was all set with my grim wager with my wife. I was to read one novel of her choosing, per season of the Wire that we watched together but NOW she says I have to watch all of these in exchange.


oline said...

i did wonder what dire effects my posting this was going to have upon your home life.

Anonymous said...

my emotions, my emotions

Osutein said...

I spent two years living on an island amongst Japanese and Canadians, two peoples with a shared passion bordering on fanaticism for "Anne of Green Gables" (or "Red-Haired Anne" as the Japanese have it). I've never read nor seen any version of it, but I feel like I have. Thousands of times over.

oline said...

movie night!!!