09 November 2011

1 Movies You Really Should've Seen By Now If You Want To Consider Yourself A Grown Person: Wait Until Dark



SCARIEST. MOVIE. EVER.

no lie.

let's start with the warning posted outside theaters where it was screening in 1967:


yeah, i'm here to tell you that shit's real. 

true story: when we were in maph, way back in the winter of 2004, there were two things to do in hyde park. there was the borders store where one could buy books and the doc cinemas where one could see old movies. that winter of 2004, the doc was running a screening series on audrey hepburn and so the dread pirate dougo and i wound up meeting at the theater (alas, one without the above warning) one brisk february night for what we thought would be standard audrey fare. 

ie. light-hearted, pretty, fluffy fun. 

ie. the anti-thesis of what wait until dark is

holy god, did wait until dark ever scare the pants off us. it features a moment (the aforementioned climax of breath-taking terror) that still stands out among all my experiences of seeing movies in theaters as the only time the entire audience in the theater has, as one, jumped out of its skin.

for reals.

fyi, this is our villain:


who is, i swear, far creepier than his leather and john lennon sunglasses and random fertility goddess would suggest. 

this is our heroine:


audrey at her most beautiful playing a grown woman so freaking scared out of her mind that she must clutch the ugliest doll in the history of the world. 

oh, did i mention she's blind? 

and that our villain is doing shit like this to her?


and she has only that scaryass doll for comfort because her husband's at work?


here is the plot summary for wait until dark: "a photographer unwittingly smuggles a drug-filled doll into new york, and his blind wife, alone in their apartment, is terrorized by murderous crooks in search of it."

omg, are you scared? I AM SO SCARED. 

i sense you're not scared enough. maybe the foreign promotional posters will help with that. 







AGHGHHRHHRHAHHGHGHGHGHG! 

what DID they want with her???

watch it. 

you're not a grown-up until an audrey hepburn movie's made you stress-pee. 




[bonus tidbit: wait until dark is directed by terence young, who went on to direct some james bond business, and- if you're in to james bond business- the dread pirate dougo's got you covered on that.]

1 comment:

Osutein said...

I love this movie, and I would love to see it in a theater where they plunge the room into darkness at the proper moment.