11 October 2011

4 buttuh

my family has this implacable faith in the power of smart balance butter.

as a hater of butter, i don't get it but, dude, they BELIEVE. with an enthusiasm surpassing their prevailing standard enthusiasm, which is already an enthusiasm that burns brighter than the fire of four hundred suns.

smart balance lowers cholesterol and makes your heart a happier place. i'm going to temper that with an "allegedly" because it seems entirely too good to be true though my parents and grandparents trust this assertion whole-heartedly.

but then, they're southern. in a world without butter, they would starve.

they take smart balance both medicinally and as justification for eating another roll. there is a prevailing assumption that so long as smart balance is a part of the equation, we can eat anything we want.

i didn't realize how engrained the whole smart balance nonsense had become until recently.

because i am my mother's daughter and have chosen dessert over the tenement museum, her two friends and i are sitting at a table laden with a napoleon, two cannolis, a crème de frèche, a dish of sorbet and a plate of seven assorted cookies.

and i swear to you, we eatons have never seemed quite so faulkner as we do in the moment when my mum's friend janis leans over and confides, debo's recipes are amazing. there's a pound of chocolate, a pound of crisco, a pound of peanut butter, twenty eggs and then a tablespoon of smart balance, "for the promotion of good health." 


Linda said...

I love this story, and also want to know about this picture.

oline said...

yeah, this one was for you.

those would be the rolls from the random dinner my mother and i ate at tivoli garden in copenhagen last fall. not the best of danish breads but they are apparently the only picture i've ever taken in which butter makes an overt appearance.

Katie C said...

Um. I'm now very concerned about the heart health of your entire family.

oline said...

well, they're well balanced if nothing else.