30 June 2011

3 june: a revue

"this really is the age where you just need to bend over and see what happens. either you’ll get pregnant or you’ll get aids or it’ll be really fucking good."

"it will give you a chance to simplify your emotions. or at the very least, your dreams."

"no more death by leftovers. hurrah."

"it is hard to be a girl today."

"good gracious, you are owning 30."

"have you emerged from the BAAAAAHHHHHH yet?"

"its things like that truth that allow me to say with such certainty to random boys from my past that you are my platonic soul mate."

"i just added your father as my facebook friend. it just needed to be done."

"it took us the whole day and 48 emails to do it, but we are victorious."
"that is the best synopsis of girl-planning EVER."

"i am still eating my emotions."

"my love language is 'out loud.'"

"your holster didn't work!"

"they almost fell into the category of gifts that a person would get from an aunt or uncle who totally does not understand young people."

"dr. quinn did not prepare me for this."

"people who pee their pants need to read, too, oline."

"when i first saw your package this morning, i had to quickly put it away because it was so big i didn't want my boss to see."

"i was all, 'i can't wait for evan to see caro's package.'"

"and i wonder: what is a whoopie pie?"

"i'm very romancey today."

"mariah carey just came on my ipod. i felt you needed to know."

"expect long, intimate farewells if you're ever in zurich."

"did you get ice cream?"
"no, the sky threw up."

"i feel your father's declaration that it is beautiful and vonnegut-like will propel him to coerce your mum to go along for the ride..."

"the entire world should be envious of oline's package."

"i am going to go lock myself in a bubble."

"she’s the one in the turban situation."

"i am owning myself!!!"

"stridency is not a virtue."

"they played SUPER loud for a tiny room containing six people."

"even jesus is throwing up his hands, like 'seriously, these two aren’t going to make it in the long haul.'"

"kurt vonnegut! that is a fancy author who wrote a book i haven’t read."

"one of those things that SEEM ideal, but are much more fun in our imagination than in real life."

"one more... i like the pretty colors of your package."
"my package is pretty, eh?"
"after all these years of wondering, seeing it made me swoon."

"but do you own a sleeping bag?"
"no. but now we know the limits of my ownership. myself? YES. sleeping bags? not so much."

"funny thing about jim caviezel..."

"you and your oral prayers."

"you'll take over the world that way, my pretty."

"does this book not seem… just a smidge… like american psycho for people with vaginas?"

"i am now disappointed by the humor of my sub-conscience."

"you rock them knees, girl."

"he's also 6' 6". i'm sure i look like his charge from the big brother/big sister program from a distance."

"and a yellow top that is very linda."

"she had brief spiral into alcohol and substance abuse, but I think she's moved on from that."

"we would expect nothing less of a woman who has sworn off of non-skinny denim."

"like, were you VERBALLY scorned???"

"maybe it is destiny. or maybe it is again something meant for lovers."

"i guess we all can be anything for an hour."

"now i think it is ice cream-thirty."

"dear ortho-tricycline, why you so mean?"


Linda said...



jmillewitz said...

my fav: "i guess we all can be anything for an hour."

oline said...

i know this was lindear referring to something i had to do but i don't remember what it was i was doing.