08 May 2011

0 i will love k.lo forever and always, reason #3

there was this wrap. (no, that's not it.)

it surfaced at the outset of the road trip to colorado this past summer, when the philosopher produced two wraps from one of the four bags of whole foods and trader joe's foodstuffs in the backseat and i wound up with the jerk steak seitan because its cellophane included a sticker warning spicy!, whereas the alternative's did not.

so it was totally by happenstance that i experienced The Wrap of My Life. seriously. it was good. so good that i have spent the last eight months trying to find it again.

the label was inconclusive. it was either from trader joe's or whole foods. even the philosopher could not remember so this was all i knew.

i knew nothing more until the day k.lo dyed my hair and she breezily warned me that she had "dragon breath" as a result of this amazing wrap she'd gotten at whole foods.

the creepiest person ever, i immediately asked: ohmygod, was it jerk steak seitan?


the story should've ended there. i should've been able to go to whole foods and get the wrap and died a happy oline. but no.

for a city that, for me, is three miles long and three miles wide, somehow all of the whole foods are extraordinarily inconvenient and despite three trips made specifically to procure The Wrap of My Dreams and one thoroughly hostile butcher who said, honey, we don't deal in fake meat, i remained wrapless.

this is why it is important to have good friends. friends who love you and of whom you can make requests for groceries without fearing judgment.

k.lo is one of those friends.

i was in san antonio when she texted that she had procured the wrap. it would take another 9 days for the wrap to make its way to me and it arrived a full day after the expiration date. but sometimes food poisoning is a risk we must run.

few things ever live up to expectations much less exceed them, but that wrap? damn did it ever. thank you, k.lo.

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