31 March 2011

0 march: a revue

"i just didn't know how big the squirt was."

"i love you for thinking that love of your own straight hair was heretical."

"look at you all moving forward to stalk a new woman's family. i love that you have skills in that."

"i always like hearing mothers call their kids jerks."

"i googled symptoms and thought of you all weekend."

"we're going to talk about vietnam and God and all kinds 'o business."

"i applaud your filters."

"will candelabras override clubbiness?"

"it's a christmas miracle."

"your new money is really working out well for me."

"if i'm not in a raft in my u.s. flag bathing suit drinking pbr, then the terrorists win."

"the noble horse theater... where many things are re-imagined on horseback."

"chinese delicacies... that means a lot of animal parts."

"i mean, that one girl looked a little serious but she's not a professional. if you're a professional, you're not going to go to the millennium park free skate."

"with spectacles, he looked like harry potter on morphines."

"would anybody like to pillorate me?"

"it is nascent. at best."

"this person, worse than being jewish, was not english."

"the c.s. lewis people are as rabid and territorial as any group of fandom i've ever come across."

"dead people are fair game."

"i'm going to try to sum up today in remarks that i wrote last weekend."

"she seems like someone who would go with someone who went by their full name."

"you don't do it early in the drive."

"i'd pray to a pig god."

"i would never be so vindictive as to name a child doug, in this day and age."

"sex... it's just like nyquil but without the hangover."

"publication is publication and your portfolio is being built so this is a good path for your sex tobaggon to go down."

"this is your literary muffin."

"i love that you have k.clen and her car."

"i find this stony silence following my chicken inquiry troubling."

"never underestimate the impact of a blood donation. super noble and wonderful, yes, but it will effing ruin half of your week."

"does this make me a bad person?"
"honey, i'm making my livelihood out of dead people. i will never judge you."

"to summarize, i wish you were as rich as you were talented, and i also applaud your creating potential toboggan paths."

"i am such a woo girl when i bowl."

"look at that pin action!"

"i need a ten pounder with really big thumbholes."

"only heartbreak can happen, not death."

"you should probably take that to africa and get some people saved."

"listen! homeless people are on the radio!"

"i feel really defeated by this meal and i'm ok with that."

"yes, that required an emoticon."

"thus concludes my lin-duh moment of the day."

"i love wine, but i don’t MAKE love to it."

"ew, but better than prickly legs or puddly thigh-highs."

"it tastes fuhlish so i'm counting it as a victory."

"i APPLAUD the brilliance of your cooking philosophies!!!!!!!"

"for now i'll just mush the beans and complain that it tastes off."
"people like you need food blogs."

"there are just some places i don't want to go, and it sounds like page 7 with elizabeth wakefield is one of those!"

"partner like a husband or friend."

"last night was spectacular except, and this is a key lesson learned, one should never follow up two glasses of wine with a glass of milk."

"the number of planes increases exponentially as volcanoes in iceland erupt."

"how's my redhead?"

"now you totally look like someone who knows what they're talking about when they talk about sex tobaggons."

"your life is just exploding right now! with fireworks... not with bombs."

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