20 December 2010

6 o young oline, tell us how you really feel


[trans.: XXXXX had her "wisdom teeth" removed today. I hope all went well. I haven't heard from her yet. We may drop in on her with some ice cream tomorrow. I tried to clean my room a little today. It was beginning to resemble a slum. Now it's a little better. I watched my "Kennedy tapes" today. That was my major accomplishment. Impressive isn't it! I found myself crying during them which I found quite stupid. I practically know them by heart. I know the precise moment wen Bernard Shaw clears his throat! I wish I were prettier. I think my face is downright funny. My ears are crooked. My eyebrows are always jutting up and down while I speak. They have a will of their own. My nose is way too large. If I could have any nose, I'd want Marilyn Monroe's with the perfect slope. My eyes are bland and always surrounded by deep, dark circles. My lips have a peculiar arch to them and my dimple is simply hideous. I hate dimples. They just show fat. My hair is limp and flat. Okay that's all for today. F.C.]

6 comments:

oline said...

in case you were wondering, yes, my eyebrows still have a will of their own.

Linda said...

bland eyes with dark circles?! was young oline on drugs in 1995??

Linda said...

i also think that when you become famous, this should be published to give hope to awkward young girls everywhere. They will be all "ooh! [oline's pen name] wished she were prettier?? I mean, look how gorgeous she is now!!" and so on.

oline said...

yeah, i don't know what young oline's deal was. she must've just been very moved by her kennedy tapes and the extraction of partner's wisdom teeth.

Linda said...

so what are kennedy tapes??

oline said...

don't be led astray by the glamor of the name. they're simply vhs tapes on which my dad taped any and all kennedy-related things for me.