30 September 2010

2 september: a revue

"isn't september always The Month That Oline Is Not Home?"

"your child is looking like a child in recent photos rather than like a baby. i do not approve of this."

"chatroulette is very reality like. you have to meet plenty of wanking dudes to find someone special."

"nobody ever got to sweden by lying in the bed."

"danish pants are questionable at best."

"nuts and mints can suck it!"

"bob dylan’s page, however, was just a bunch of pictures of… bob dylan. so fame does not equal graphic artistic brilliance."

"at least i have myriad cute outfits so that should make up for anything i've left behind."

"what time do the american murders start?"

"i feel like you aren't really in denmark. you're actually just at ikea buying milk."

"this day was a total waste of makeup."

"i’m barely old enough to have a baby, right? i’m certainly not old enough to have a 'young boy.'"

"translucent people rarely work well on TV."

"i do resent you girls for having babies that show how rapidly we are all aging. it didn't seem so rapid until the Younger Generation came along."

"it seemed important to delete him in as many venues as may be. it was also DEEPLY rewarding to filter him into a folder named 'delete' and erase the hell out of that thing too."

"i got a lot of christmas gifts from secondary characters. likes rudolph and blitzen."

"i just need someone to hate with me."

"there are an odd lot of fake boobs here. canada, who knew?!"

"what makes google think that its main users would care about celine dion?"
"i like your assumption that we are google's most important constituency."

"i come from a long line of queasy people."

"oh, i can DO boobs."

"can we talk about swedish condoms?"

"old hollywood has ruined my expectations of men."


Lara Ehrlich said...

Sigh. I'm sad that I did not speak to you in Sept, thus not making your September: a revue...not that I was ever very quote-worthy, come to think of it. But I still miss you!

oline said...

i can already tell that all our lives are going to be better now that you have the internet. and actually, you're most post-worthy because you're queen of the pithy closing line.