"they're just fat people with mean hearts so they deserve to lose."
"i just am not all up on winter."
"do amish people ever get mad?"
"i apparently love gay man music."
"i interviewed your next boyfriend today."
"we are seriously stuffing right now."
"thank you for opening my eyes to something i'll probably never get to experience."
"it created a cacophony of wall-climbing water-boinking sounds that no sleeping bag over the ear could muffle."
"ooh, filing cabinets! i'm gonna have room for filing cabinets!!! i love to file."
"am i settling into single-selfishness, or am i on the road of doom to never find anyone ever as long as i shall live? i'm not trying to be pessimistic, but i do want to be aware of all possibilities."
"WAFFLES!!! i could have wept."
"you seriously have balls made out of brass to have handled yourself so well so far."
"partner, there's a whole playground under your legs."
"as you know, i was in a very unorthodox mood yesterday."
"yes. yes. in the midst of the verbal flogging, i drew that conclusion."
"it's worth a listen thought it's not as deep as lady gaga... and, who, a year ago, would've ever thought of calling lady gaga deep?"
"when the team has a man down, it needs a little extra help."
"just don't go jim henson on me and die of pnemonia because you only need God to heal you instead of medicine."
"i appreciate the tenacity of your continuing addiction to people.com."
"it looks like a unicorn threw up on them."
"is it real if you're drunk?"