24 August 2009

11 men/men in skirts

i always thought marc jacobs was unreasonably good looking, a sentiment he is apparently determined to derail by wearing skirts in public.

not kilts, mind you. we are not talking about a garment in ethnic plaid made of an appropriately masculine thick wool. no, no. a fucking skirt. in what appears to be a light-weight jersey knit.

what is it with men and skirts?

let me amend that. i know what's up with men and skirts and i heartily approve. but what the hell is up with men wearing skirts?

i'm going to prance out on the stereotype tree and say i'm pretty sure this is a gay thing.

i base that conclusion not simply upon the fact that marc jacobs is a gay man but upon experiential proof.

once upon a lone madcap midnight, S made an impulse buy of an entire bolt of black fabric in order to make- you guessed it- a manskirt.

to this day, i don't know where this idea came from. up to that point S's Fashions were pretty much limited to polos and abercrombie. this was, after all, the guy who took me to the homecoming dance with a carmike cinemas t-shirt visible through his button-down, so it looked like he had a ginormous chest tattoo.

there had never been anything (except, perhaps, the whole i think i might be gay thing) to indicate that we would wind up here, milling about the walmart sewing section, with him turning to me- in one of those moments where you can almost see the thought bubble and are helpless to pop it dead- and saying that he would like to make a manskirt for himself.

a manskirt.

it was the year 2000 and this seemed shockingly, monumentally millennial.

and apparently it was something he had wanted for awhile. or at least long enough to know that nothing in inventory at express would do and to have hatched a plot to overcome his inability to sew through the use of craft glue.

the manskirt. yet another secret i could never understand.

our history is more than a little checkered so while i would like to think the manskirt episode was during the gay days, i'm pretty sure this occurred during the summer of straightness. i'm pretty sure we were at walmart specifically to purchase the britney spears cd at midnight when my boyfriend turned to me and said, y'know, i'd really like to buy some fabric and make myself a skirt.

which either makes me very sad for my 19-year-old self or makes me want to die laughing. or maybe a little of both.


Meggie said...

1) Who was the guy that we went to high school with that would sometimes wear a skirt? Same guy who came to school wearing a suit of armor...

2) I didn't need the mental image of S in a skirt. And Wal-Mart is such a horrible place to buy the proper material for a manskirt anyways. Needed to have gone to JoAnns. :)

oline said...

rory wore a kilt to prom, but a kilt is acceptable manwear as is a suit of armor. a skirt not so much.

ps. i will respond to your email. promise. one of these days.

Meggie said...

I was beginning to think you died...

Rory wore a kilt that was actually an authentic kilt and part of his family's clan. Completely normal. That said, I am also part Scottish so I get the kilt thing.

s.h.e. said...

let's fact-check, shall we?

- i never wore abercrombie until after high school. and, even then, it's only been clearance abercrombie, so it doesn't even count. i'll give you the polos, but they were off-brand as well.
- the "manskirt" as you call it, was never intended to be a skirt, but a wraparound piece of fabric over a nice pair of dark pants, accompanied with a slick set of flip flops. it was a summer look like none other... totally not a Rory kilt or the Marc Jacobs ridiculousness. with these legs, i could never pull off a skirt. never.
- just to enlighten, the idea was gifted to me by the ever-popular trendsetters known as the Backstreet Boys... it was my TRL phase mixed in with the i'm-not-gay-this-summer jubilee that allowed me to fall victim to this possibly awesome fashion crime. but, do remember that the idea died quickly that night after walmart- not only because i realized a soon-to-be gay man would never be caught dead in a poly-cotton wraparound, or the fact that dancing around and singing britney tunes was just a bit too gay for my non-gay self, but more for the fact that i needed something to help block out the sun in my bedroom.
- and the homecoming, see-through shirt fiasco was totally from the Hollywood 27 grand opening and not from Carmike.
- to this day, i've never attempted to revisit that mistake and try to make good by it. nope. this boy is wraparound-free from here 'til eternity, because if Marc Jacobs can't even pull it off, there's clearly no hope for the rest of us.

oline said...

ah, i knew you were going to call me out on my dramatic license. and can we dwell for a moment on how quickly the hollywood 27 went completely ghetto?

Les Savy Ferd said...

see, this just seems like a logistical nightmare.

oline said...

welcome to the world of women's wear.

Les Savy Ferd said...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, jeans + t-shirt + underwear and we're good to go.

oline said...


and seriously, when was the last time i saw you? it feels like gogol but that can't be right. i think we need to rock bottom pronto.

kjd said...

Another great man in a skirt.

oline said...

ha! that's awesome!