"any mentality outside of the hardcore is a good one. "
"i was afraid the word swab was lurking in there somewhere."
"i’m still a little grossed out by myself."
"oh, how sexy my arms were back then."
"the doctors, it seems, tend to be overly careful about babies. almost to the point where it is a 'condition' rather than a natural thing."
"then we got super drunk sat on the porch and decided we were getting married... that faded the next morning."
"KEEP a man who will share his icing!"
"jennifer cruise is totally contemporary fiction, so it's more maidenform releasing rather than bodice ripping."
"where are you wearing your drawers?"
"i caught albie by surprise when he wasn't expecting me...in the litter box. he came over to greet me in a frenzied panic, and didn't quite finish his...um...release."
"is it weird that i wish we lived in the same city so i could help you kill a couch?"
"you are the Queen of Paint, so i value your input."
"what did you do this weekend?"
"i partied like i was 18... and i'll spent the next decade paying for it."
"i prefer my alcholism in my bar, at my barstool, with my bartender, all alone to watch CNN with closed-captioning so the dance music and karaoke singers aren't offended."
"i did find a dress. and i will be eating peanut butter sandwiches for two months. seriously."
"it is very you - oz, music, short hair."
"well, we have a friendship based upon overcommunication so when one of us undercommunicates, i tend to assume we've broken up."
"i am not elvis. except in the bed. then i am the king."