the month (actually, it's more like a 42-day stretch) in which 79% of the people i know were born officially kicks off this thursday with the birthday of my high school gay ex-boyfriend. there is no greeting card for that.
every card is wrong. the ones with the half naked guys. the ones poking fun of wrinkles. they all seem so mean. we feel old already. a reminder would be unwelcome.
and, really, how many times can you buy a HAPPY 100th card and scribble "now don't you feel young?" on the inside?
it's at this point that i tend to lose focus and, because the birthday rack is (ironically? unfortunately?) close to the "special situations" rack, i inevitably gravitate there.
because these cards are fascinating. these cards that say, i may have done something shitty to you and i feel bad about that but i do not know how to express that emotion on my own or outside an appropriately rugged context so i have bought a card to show i thought enough of you to pay $2.99 to have someone else say i care.
there is a card for everything. for breaking-up to getting back together to sex on the first date. which begs the question, if a guy gives you a greeting card after sex on the first date, will there even be a 2nd?