i've decided my dream job- aside from writing biography or living in dubrovnik and doing nothing all day- would be writing tabloid headlines. because, really, can anything be more fulfilling? imagine the sense of accomplishment that must follow after penning a masterpiece like this:
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT: Why She Called Off Her Wedding. The dress was bought, a date was set. How jealousy, fights, and her insecurities exploded at the last minute.
if i should ever be so unfortunate as to do anything warranting tabloid attention (dear God, please no), i would hope to garner a headline of comparable quality.
OLINE EATON: Why She Killed the Vieve. How dance parties, puking, and emotional eating destroyed their lives.