i don't write about politics. because i don't know shit about politics. i know what i believe but beyond that my political savvy is limited to an in-depth knowledge of january 21, 1961 to november 25, 1963. ask me about the american university speech and i can bring the pain. pakistan? yeah, not so much. so i write this as a know-nothing. make of it what you will.
i am pissed at sarah palin.
i gather i'm not the only one.
there are a variety of shallow reasons to be pissed at sarah palin. the beehive. the lipstick. the habitual mispronunciation of nuclear. all of these probably have no material effect on her ability to govern, but still. when i brainstorm traits for the leader of the free world, folksy doesn’t come to mind.
admittedly, i'm an elitist. sarah palin wasn't picked to please me. she was picked for all those other people. people who aren't instantaneously turned off by the phrase "joe six pack." to me, america is better than that. surely, surely, there's more to this land of ours than megalomaniacal sports moms and beer guzzling dads. if not, i want out.
this isn't just me being judgmental, because i'm in no position to judge. i don't have a favorite supreme court case. i didn't know the bush doctrine had a formal name. and it took me months to realize all those signs were for a state rather than a street and that wisconsin really was in illinois' back yard.
yes, i'm a moron. but then, i'm not running for office. i don't even have an office.
so i say this from a place of love in my humble cubical. it's one thing to not know things. it's another thing to know you don't know things and want to pretend like you do. it's a whole other thing to go out in the vote-getting world not knowing things and acting like that's ok.
the other day i pulled a palin. i held an important, potentially income-altering conversation and peppered it with vague allusions to my "interesting" experiences and "extensive record of making people smile." for reals. yes, yes, pick me... i can perform this vast array of complicated communicative tasks because... i'm sarcastic and i collect beads! they were looking for a home run. i showed up in stilettos to play wiffle ball and then pulled a crap bunt.
it was bad. so bad, in fact, that i was tempted to call them back and say, yeah, let's just call the whole thing off. which is why i am pissed at sarah palin.
sarah palin should know better. john mccain should've known better too, but that's not the point. as a judgmental, elitist woman, this whole dramedy- from the couric interviews to the stepford wife of last night- is insulting. it's not some great advance for womankind. it's feminism sacrificed at the altar of personal ambition. surely we aren’t so distracted by the sight of a woman in a suit on a podium that we forget it is in no way maverick to be unprepared.
i never thought i'd say this. hell, i spent a year wishing she'd go away. but seriously.
hillary. come back. please.
i know you're mad. i know you're out there licking your wounds, probably penning a sequel. making history then watching another woman come along and fuck it up. and i'm sorry. but your country needs you. please. come back and kick this girl's ass.