30 June 2008
4 june: a revue
"i didn't know if that was you or your chastity belt talking."
"guess who's going to madonna..."
"my wife had a baby awhile ago and we really thought she'd be weened off the teat by now but that little heifer don't want nothing but her momma."
"it seems like she's having a really difficult... lifetime."
"we're very up-in-the-airsies about everything right now."
"he is way too gay to be that clueless about appearances."
"you do like drama."
"well, it's not like i subscribe to it and it comes on a weekly basis. it just happens."
"oh honey, it's ring around the penis."
"sex was never the same after coldplay."
"yeah... i wore a beret."
"when you really think about it, college is the opposite of God."
"girl, i saw your butt from a block away."
"i swear to God, once those kids leave i'm going to have my tubes tied."
"you just can't trust the blacks. i don't care if the mother was white and the father was green, you can't trust the blacks."
"if you're removing someone's pantaloons, then clearly that's fucking."
"well, i'm sure you're finger-lickin' good but..."
"they sent me a bag. and look! it's a yuppie on the inside."
"new york is 10 hours from here. i don't know what that means..."
"i didn't get much sleep last night, but i did whiten my teeth, so i can smile big, even if my eyes will be tired."
"that was one too many things to be wanting and waiting on. i can handle not having sex but i really needed the 'sex & the city.'"
"i have the personality of a soft prick."
"but sophie said ok..."
"...senssssssssssssssual massage..."
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4 comments:
i know who the middle comment was about!!!!!(really, are all these exclamation points necessary)!!!!!
you and your exclamation points!!!!!!
they are like finely honed daggers I use to first baffle my interlocutors, then defeat with the cutness.
also for the 11teenth time today:
waaaaaaaaaaaaalll-eeeEEEEeeeee.
not the cutness. please, dear God, no.
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