30 April 2008
10 april: a revue
"and damned if anyone thinks i'll be roasting vegetables for 4 hours in advance! i'm throwing shit together between some noodles and hitting 'bake'."
"you're, like, obsessed with my getting pregnant now..."
"wait. what? the twelfth president?"
"seriously. is my enunciation that bad?"
"she teaches handicapped children, which, i guess, is really an example of like speaking to like."
"oh... ew... sorry, something just happened in my throat."
"it's kind of freakishly fun to be crafty like the 57-year-old women wearing denim shirts."
"nothing too thrilling over here this weekend. just cleaned out my underwear drawer."
"remember that? when i wore scandalously scanty underthings and was required to take everything off just so they could look at my face."
"it was agony sitting there and nodding my head like it was all new."
"i swear i am inching close to the 57-year-old denim lady with each passing day."
"it was either keep the beard or sex his wife. he chose wisely."
"you seem to be a little down..."
"it's the gloomy weather. and you're so happy it makes me sad."
"it doesn't really pay off to be a perfectionist when you're working at a drive-in."
"this is where all the career homosexuals work."
"we're going to be fine"
"that's what they all say and then you wind up in bed with a hooker and get ghonnorea and they leave you and you're all alone."
"i want to be 23 again."
"no you don't. 23 sucked. bad clothes, bad hair and guys who won't go down on you. 29 is so much better. well, maybe not, but at least the guys go down."