16 January 2008

8 go, girl, go

when i was waiting tables in starkville, good old john miller emphasized to us the importance of "moving with a sense of urgency." this didn't necessarily mean you had to be doing anything important. just that you sure as hell better look like you were.

this sense of urgency served to cover a multitude of sins. i never told people my name, lest they hunt me down with problems. rather, i would dump their food on the table and run- with a sense of urgency- so i was always praised. because everything i did looked so urgent, people assumed i was working nonstop to secure french fries and burgers for them and their compatriots. through this veil of urgency, i looked like the great worker i never was.

i've come to realize that this- the sense of urgency- was maybe a very very bad thing in the long-run. i am a tightly-wound, impatient, judgmental crazy person. throw in a sense of urgency and you get total madness.

because i still do this. i still have the sense of urgency and operate as though everything were life and death. it's just that now it's not so much a matter of getting people their french fries as producing accurate proformas with lightening speed and mail-merging spreadsheets onto perfectly aligned avery 5691s.

hence, i find myself storming the ten feet to and from the copier as though earthshattering events might unfold in the tiny interim in which i am away from my desk. logically, i know they won't, but still... they might.

somehow this whole way of working seemed perfectly normal. i'd never considered any alternatives until yesterday, when i went hurtling through the hallways of the other tower and ran right smack into the old man, who was leisurely walking along with nary a care in the world.

he looked at me, my hair half-secured into a noncommital ponytail, my arms piled with multi-colored file folders, my whole self swaying precariously atop boots not constructed for abrupt stops. he, this seventy-nine year old man, looked at me and said, kid, you better slow down or you'll give yourself a heart-attack.

we sat, we talked, we reviewed, we regrouped.

his parting words? okay, me-dahlin. GO GO GO, baby!!! RUN LIKE HELL or there'll be hell to pay!!!


Meggie said...

You gotta watch running into those old people--they break hips easily.

Les Savy Ferd said...

sometimes as I'm shambling down the halls young whippersnappers run into me and don't even say two bits in the way of an apology. The youth of today...

Anonymous said...

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Les Savy Ferd said...


Clark MF Price said...

Did you just get botted? GOlign who are these new people that you are associating with?

Les Savy Ferd said...

this post-human crowd you've been hanging with is no place for pirates.

oline said...

people who want to make a ridiculously easy $200. hmmm... prostitutes?

clark price, i saw lifehouse on tv on new year's and thought of you. are you glad they're making a comeback? i know they were a fave.

dougo, GOGOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Clark MF Price said...

How dare you out me! My moment of weakness! That's why being an asshole is so much easier. So when are you going to dye your hair maroon again? :p

As for me, I am going to try to forget this incident. I will go and listen to very technical death metal and do manly things like chop wood...with my mind!!