18 September 2007

8 things fall apart

there's something wickedly fabulous about situations in which absolutely everything that could possibly go wrong does. it's almost too perfectly beautiful-- that fate could be so well-scripted.

i'm dealing with a certain man of a certain age. he is to be in a certain city with some damn dishes to deliver a special speech tomorrow. we've known this since june, and though i'm a pretty optimistic gal, even back then, as the project was being doled out onto my plate, my first thought was: catastrophe!

but this is more than a self-fulfilling prophesy. it's akin to watching a movie you've seen a thousand times and laughing just before all the jokes. you are prepared. you can see it coming, in all its awful hilarity.

therefore it was no surprise when this certain man would espouse beliefs along the lines that "if you break a plate, you become more dangerous than anything on 9/11." when five days ago he forgot that he was giving a speech. when friday he refused to bring the damn dishes. when yesterday it took a three hour phone call to bring him back around. when this morning, we realized he was going to be asked to gate-check and would pitch a fit.

and thus, it was absolutely no surprise at all when his flight was cancelled.

the road to inevitable disaster is paved with many laughs.

8 comments:

Linda said...

So the man didn't land at 5pm earlier today?

oline said...

the man landed at 5. this was earlier. when it looked like the man might never land.

Linda said...

oh, so the man landed at five but didn't leave again at 5:35?

Linda said...

this is riveting conversation, I know.

oline said...

as far as i know (please dear God above), the man landed at 5 and left at 5.30. but he was actually supposed to be on a flight earlier in the day and that was canceled. then the flight that landed at 5 was supposed to land at 4- so that was why there was the whole "is he or isn't he going to make it?" drama.

indeed. riveting.

Meggie said...

You lost me at dishes...

Les Savy Ferd said...

and all this time I've been damning the man for keeping me, a brother, down.

oline said...

i doubt the man could keep you down, brothO- he is old, senile, and hard of hearing after all.