09 August 2007

6 chuck klosterman asks the really really important questions

Q: you work in an office performing a job that you find satisfying (and which compensates you adequately). the company that employs you is suddenly purchased by an eccentric millionaire who plans to immediately raise each person's salary by 5% and extend an extra week of vacation to all full-time employees.

however, this new owner intends to enforce a somewhat radical dress code: every day, men will have to wear tuxedos, tails, and top hats (during the summer months, male employees will be allowed to wear gray three-piece suits on "casual fridays'). Women must exclusively work in formal wear, preferably ball gowns or prom dresses. each employee will be given an annual $500 stipend to purchase necessary garments, but that money can only be spent on work-related clothing.

the new regime starts in three months.

do you seek employment elsewhere?

A: wild horses could not keep me from this workplace.


Linda said...

How hard would it be to maneuver around in a rolly chair when you're wearing floor length taffeta?

Lara Ehrlich said...

Oh my goodness! They would serve crumpets and honey in the mornings, tea in the afternoons, and brandy at their holiday parties. I would work there in half a heart beat!!!

Meggie said...

Ok, so I love dressing up for military balls and the such 'cause how often do you get to wear a ball gown and actually feel like a girl? However, wouldn't it lose some of the appeal after the second week?

Kinda like dressing up at work in khakis and a polo lost the appeal after the second week and I went back to scrubs.

oline said...

see my theory is that this would kind of be an everyday, ongoing prom. they would play power ballads and disco during lunch and there would be all kinds of "i saw you dancing with HIM over by the water cooler" drama.

Les Savy Ferd said...

Chuck is a funny guy. I remember getting the advanced reader copy for his newest book (I believe it is the one where this question, and others like it, came from) a while back but I mailed it to friend in NY who is an even bigger fan of him than I am. haven't seen it since.

Also, I'm not sure i would be down with this. sorry.

oline said...

the new chuck would indeed be the origin of that question. and if you need to borrow him, i've got a copy of the plebian version. quite good though it's unfortunate though that we studied him in public intellectual, because now i can only read him as a public intellectual and there are some things that are just more fun outside the sphere of public intellectualism.

as an aside: i will never ever ever forget the look of stricken public intellectual elitism that came across chuck klosterman's face as he sat in davis-kidd faced with a teeny bopper with at least four packs of gum in her mouth who asked: "so would you say the foo fighters were more important than nirvana in the larger scheme of musical things?" priceless.