23 July 2007

12 succulent scents


it's hard to know where to begin here. such an overwhelming abundance of makefunable things are happening. a list, if you please.

(1) a huge HA! to the idea that any human being on earth would want to wear a gourmet treat.

(2) a pox on the people at the demeter fragrance library for the their usage of the unfortunate phrase "succulent scents."

(3) and while we're on the subject, let us please take a moment and ridicule the mere existence of the demeter fragrance library and demean them for having exhausted their presumably extensive and fragrant archives to such a point that inspiration could be found only in jelly belly jelly bean recipes.

(4) in conclusion, what kind of girl would ever want to smell like a blueberry muffin- two parts blueberry, one part buttered popcorn?

let it be known, i am by no means a perfume snob. i wear designer impostor "happy." partly because it is $4, but mostly because it's called "you wanna play?" and that's just damn awesome. when the poor hapless guys lean in and murmur, mmmmmm, you smell nice- to be able to retort, you wanna play?

but if some poor hapless guy leaned into me at a party and caught a whiff of the wearable gourmet treats of the demeter fragrance library inspired by the jelly belly jelly beans, i can't quite imagine the response mango pineapple salsa would have quite the same effect.


12 comments:

Les Savy Ferd said...

designer impostor fragrance is actually a much cooler name (and line) of scents. And I don't know how many times I've leaned over at a stranger on the bus, a girl at a party, a young woman in a coffee-shop and said in my best Jack Bauer "mmmm, you smell nice," if only in the hope that the lady in question would saucily (yet demurely) reply in her best audrey hepburn, "you wanna play?" Of course all of this was B.C. (e.g. before Croftie)

oline said...

i wish the doc would play audrey again. that was THE highlight of that freezy-assed winter of 2004.

Les Savy Ferd said...

like that scary-ass movie where audrey played the blind lady and the one dude did that jaguar leap completely out of nowhere and we were all like 'no way!' and jumping up out of our seats as the whole audience gasped in unison? yeah, those movies were the bomb.

oline said...

that was quite possibly one of the creepiest moments ever committed to film. i have yet to recover.

maybe we should audrey on our own this winter and have a crofts/oline festival.

kjd said...

I am happy to hear that blueberry muffin is a succulent scent. I can achieve perfection without spritzing on the jelly belly jelly bean scent. Owning a bakery has its perks:)

oline said...

ladies and gentleman, we have just witnessed an historic moment. after 37 minutes of struggle, kj has come in from the dark and commented. yay that!

Les Savy Ferd said...

a croftsoline festival mayhap be a must.

oline said...

i second that motion.

Les Savy Ferd said...

i second that emotion

oline said...

in that case i don't want no part

Linda said...

I just got here, and I fully realize that I am commenting way after the fact, but can you imagine smelling like hot fudge sundae while walking through the city on a scorching summer day?? oof.

oline said...

ga-ross!