15 June 2007

2 j-e-l-l-o

i've never understood those people who get all wishy-washy nostalgic when the ephemera of their youth comes back in vogue. why cry over platform wedgies? why lament the return of gaucho pants as a sign of your own mortality? (aside from the fact that gaucho pants are heinous and should not be worn by anyone under seven feet tall.) though i am a fan of most all things frivolous, this sentimentality has always seemed a bit too gauche- even for me.*

then i had an epiphany, courtesy of jell-o pudding. i'm a big friend of puddings, and have been since the cheerleader moved out in the spring of 2001 and i inherited my own mini-fridge that could be stocked with puddings galore. it promptly was. and at one time or another, every refrigerator i've had since has played host to the standard jell-o fat free pudding snacks chocolate vanilla artificial flavor swirls.

the other day, i stocked up at the market and began putting the puddings in their designated fridge space as i always do. i cracked open the cardboard container as i always do and was shocked to find my jell-o pudding snacks in their vintage best. this was not the jell-o pudding lid of last week, but the jell-o pudding lid of 2001.

there is a small possibility that my recently purchased jell-o pudding snacks are indeed from 2001. however, this is largely discredited by the fact that i have partaken of said jell-o pudding snacks and have yet to die. presumably the ingestion of a six-year-old dairy product would be fatal, unless those artificial flavor swirls hold more power than we assume.

but i have to admit, once the shock had passed, i couldn't help but pause in front of the open refrigerator. the frigidaire breeze whipping my hair as i recalled that unusually hot mississippi spring, when i brazenly wore black bras under white shirts nearly every single day, did edgar allen poe impressions in holocaust class, and first had a fridge all my own. i was almost, dare i say it, moved.

then i remembered that this nostalgic moment had been brought to me by a jell-o pudding cup and shut the refrigerator door in shame.

*and yes, that's a bit of a baldfaced lie, but a writer's got to have a hook.


Clark MF Price said...

My friends and I are extreme fanatics when it comes to pudding. Chocolate especially. One time we took an ice chest and filled it with chocolate pudding. Another time we took the crisper drawer of the fridge and lined it in plastic and used it as a pudding drawer. It lasted 2 days. It was that day that I reached my limit on how much pudding I could consume. We used skim milk of course so we could be healthy, but I don't think even skim can make that amount of pudding healthy.

oline said...

though a pudding freak, am kind of grossed out by the prospect of such massive quantities of pudding. cup size, i love. crisper drawer? ugh.