13 December 2006

24 plans


in the 9th grade, we had to buy a planner from the school store. ostensibly because we were so young and naive as freshmen that we would be incapable of keeping track of assignments when our classes were located in different halls. the planner we had to buy went from august to august. this was logical at the time.

because i attended school through the 17th grade, i've been on the august to august system for the past ten years. unfortunately, my life shifted to a january to january keel a good four years ago. this has been terrifically confusicating. it's like moving through time zones, except it's an entire four months. which is why i resisted the switch for so long. because how the hell does one get off the august to august system?

there are really only two ways:
1) The I Have Money Pouring Out Of My Ears & Can Waste Half A Planner & Buy A New One In January way

or...

2) The I Don't Have Money Pouring Out Of My Ears & Can't Justify Wasting Half A Planner So I Will Endure Four Plannerless Months Until January way

a thrifty masochist, i went with the latter. it has unilaterally sucked.

it should come as no surprise that i like plans. not that i'm a plan nazi, just that i'm not particularly fond of complete planarchy, and when left to my own devices will naturally fall into a rather regimented routine. plans are exciting. plans are comforting. plans are very hard to have without a planner.

my planner used to be like a journal or sorts. you could go back and read it and have a pretty good idea of what my days were like- right down to the weather. in reading about the nabakovs, that was always one of my favourite details. that they shared a planner for the fifty years of their marriage. they're lives so thoroughly overlapped that vladimir made himself right at home in vera's planner.

and all the minutiae of the nabakov's lives were there, in their planner. looking at the slip of paper that contains the scribblings i've made in a valiant attempt to wrench my august to august plans into line with my january to january life, i haven't the slightest idea what i've been doing for the past four months. which is rather amusing.

i like to think that when whoever writes the cupcake&bombsybox begins sifting through the archive of all my junk, he/she will come across the conspicuous four-month gap in my planners and he/she will make the most logical conclusion. the logical conclusion that all biographers make in the face of any sizeable gap in the documentation of a well-documented modern life.

he/she will lean back in his/her chair, hands behind his/her head, and knowingly say, but, of course, that's when the cupcake joined the CIA. he/she won't stop to think, maybe that's when the cupcake wasn't master of her plans because she wanted to save ten lousy bucks.

24 comments:

nick said...

sweet - i got my own pen colour.

oline said...

you're kind of a big deal.

nick said...

so if i were a jell-o pudding pop would i be a chocolate vanilla swirl?

Les Savy Ferd said...

testing, testing, one, two, three *taps mic*. If this were an actual Pirate comment blogger might actually allow me to post this...

Les Savy Ferd said...

huzzah! success! i'm not cut off from commenting on Olinian adventures and bon mots! all these xclamation pts look like jello pudding pops!
!!!!

oline said...

yay! the pirate's back! so i froze a jello pudding cup last night to see if it could at least approximate the glory of a jello pudding pop, and it wasn't half bad. kind of bizarrely sorbet-like, but definately not half bad.

and yes, LG, you would be swirled. because like the dread pirate cosbO, you are not a solid black man.

Les Savy Ferd said...

u keep saying that.

oline said...

ur gal said it first, and i think her quite the authority.

Linda said...

Would a 2006 planner really be that expensive this late in the year? Surely you could find one for 50 cents or something.

oline said...

details, details! but then i wouldn't've (ha!) had anything to complain about all these months or write about now. and besides, this seemed the more adventurous route.

croftie said...

Want me to order you one from work for free? Ah--the joys of a (sometimes but most times rarely) well-stocked office supply closet.

oline said...

much as i would love to see a *smiles* calendar in the parchament, i don't think so!

Les Savy Ferd said...

no comment on the solid black man issue, eh croft?

Les Savy Ferd said...

thats what I thought.

oline said...

it's a known truth, dear pirate. it needs no commentary.

Les Savy Ferd said...

It needs no commentary but a RUNNING commentary. nay, sprinting, vaulting, catapaulting, sommersaulting, defenestrating commentary.

Meggie said...

I hate blogger...

I also would cease to exist without my planner. It has all the little mundane details like "CLEAN YOUR CONDO YOU IDIOT!" and "Met Army".

oline said...

i got a new one today. it's all limey and pretty. i love it already.

nick said...

limey as in, "shine you shoes for a quid govnah?" -- or limey as in citrus fruit?

oline said...

limey as in citrus fruit, but s'pose since i'm limey as in "shine you shoes for a quid govnah?" it's got a bit of that as well.

Les Savy Ferd said...

i'm more raspberry than limey.

oline said...

which is understandable, given that you're not a solid black man.

Les Savy Ferd said...

*Olineinthecity boycott back on*

oline said...

fiddlesticks! but then we know the pirate's infamous olineinthecity boycotts are always short-lived. perhaps another characteristic attributable to his not being a solid black man.

(and i don't think this will ever get old and very much look forward to giving a toast at your wedding in which your non-solid black manness is evoked as croftie nods knowingly over her fruit plate.)