30 December 2006

4 go lightly

it is official. in january, la petit maison de oh!-'lighn is taking up residence in much less petit, much more fabulous quarters in the pillbarracks. thus, begins the process of the current la petit maison de oh!-'lighn being on the market.

i had been warned that should i dare to not renew my lease, the apartment might be shown during hours that would be confirmed two days in advance and entirely convenient to me. so i struggled to make the place look tolerably tidy. after several weeks of this to no avail, i reached an impasse.

who cares what they think? i thought, conveniently forgetting that after a lifetime of my mother's admonishments to not let anyone know that we secretly live like pigs, i would, of course, care.

so it was that at 2 p.m. this afternoon, as i lay in bed cursing the stupid ear that God gave me, a knock happened upon my door. and i lept from bed knowing that i was about to open the door with some unpardonable hair and whilst wearing hello kitty jammies. my contacts weren't in but my mind's eye could clearly see the underthings strewn about the closet. the pile of dirty clothes in the bathroom. the stack of dishes in the sink. the unmade bed. the incontrovertible evidence of what my mum always said.

but my mum underestimated the power of mood lighting and interior decor. upon entering la petit maison, the prospie let out a gasp. her companion exclaimed, holy shit! they begged me to leave everything. they asked the all-important question: jen or angelina? they looked upon me not as a freak in hello kitty jammies at 2 p.m., but as the curator of grand fabulousnesses. which was rather reassuring. God may've given me a crap ear, but i sure can have my way with a room.


nick said...

i guess i never asked... is it jen or angelina?

oline said...

let me preface this by saying that it's a much more nuanced question than mets or yanks?

my gut response when the girl asked that was jen. but i think that's only because the tabloids have had much more fun with her. angelina and brad are pretty much settled and that's a rather stale plotline. jen's a much more dynamic character. and, again, it all comes back to narrative.

nick said...

whoa.... you're gonna throw out a decades of baseball history by saying that jen or angelina? is a much more nuanced question than mets or yanks?

as much as i respect your opinion, here i must fervently disagree, ma petite.

oline said...

but mets or yanks? is a no-brainer, because the yankees suck. so while angelina does have redeeming qualities, the yanks don't so much.

maybe it's a more nuanced answer than a nuanced question.