12 February 2020
P and i are talking about all the cool clothes we have that we don't wear at the bookshop because we know men would comment on them and make us feel gross.
i've long recognized that half the fun of being in a relationship is the clothes i wear.
i've only just realized that that i see that as exclusively a perk of a relationship because, without the context of a man at my side, a similar threat exists. i am suddenly open to comment.
men in the general public will assume i have dressed for their pleasure. they will say things. they will make me feel gross.
it is only when i pretend to dress for a particular man that i can fully dress for myself.
i LOVE fashion. so how fucking sad is that?
it's not about feeling sexy; it's about feeling safe.