30 March 2017

0 "I'm on drugs. That's my excuse."

debo keeps sending these texts and then sending follow-ups saying "i am on morphine. i don't make sense. i'm on drugs."

and i'm mystified that she feels the need to send the follow-up because apparently she doesn't realize that, due to auto-correct, for the last few years she has pretty much always sounded this way (see also: "live you bitches" [a search that sent me down a rabbit hole of messages from the vieve in memphis!]).

29 March 2017

0 we really have a sense of occasion


on election day, garebear elected to have surgery.

on the day of the triggering of article 50, debo is having her foot done.

i am reminded that this was the forecast the night before the brexit vote last june:


seems no surprise i awoke with a tremendous sense of foreboding this a.m.

21 March 2017

0 up, up

we take all of the interviews on board. they stick with us, we discuss them with ourselves and with approximately 9-25 other people.

but some of them, the ones with the older women, the 80+ crowd, ohmygod.

after speaking with sister joanne, STZ and i both were crying.

and then i cried again later, on the way home.

and then she texted monday and asked if i cried when putting the episode together and i said no, because i didn't really listen, but i'd listen to it on my way to work on tuesday and i expected to cry then.

our hearts are very full.

that is something people always say on facebook when they have babies but it is nonetheless accurate here.

17 March 2017

0 dream jackie

last night, for the fourth time in my entire life, jackie onassis appeared in my dreams.

A and i were leaving an evangelical church. (god knows what we were doing there.) we were walking through what i assumed to be new york city and, suddenly, at the end of the street, bracketed between two buildings, there she was.

11 March 2017

0 ok

i call sister joanne to see if she'd be willing to do an interview with STZ and i, and she says ok. and she says she's ok, just ok, because she's been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

she sounds resigned and, hearing her say this, i feel resigned. she is, after all, 98. what a run... etc., etc.

09 March 2017

A post shared by Ohlighn (@ohlighn) on

0 the BRP


safe to say that, historically, my portraits for official documents have been truly awful.

from the very first. the image taken for my driving license fully captured my mistaken belief that i had failed the test and my internal preparation for the series of phone calls in which i would have to inform my friends of my failure. reading my body language in this photograph (which mercifully, i hope, no longer exists as this license was relinquished in 2003, when debo and i- in an exercise of tremendous vanity- went to the DMV at the mall of memphis to get new licenses solely so we would have better photographs of ourselves), one would assume a slap were forthcoming. due to my short haircut, i also bore an awful resemblance to a young boy.

i was under no illusions that it wasn't awful, as indicated by my diary entry from that night.

03 March 2017

0 emotional labor



emotional labor. STZ loathed this phrase when i dropped it in our k.nord podcast. LOATHED. as in, we were totally not paging. she hated it with the fire of a thousand suns. she said never say that again.

that phrase is really grating, she said.

on reflection, she texted three weeks later, i think it grated because it's so painful.

01 March 2017

0 an actual reply from a publisher

I am sure this is terrific but it is not quite my biscuit. I am sure this is great but we are really not the right publisher.
somehow i always imagined publishers were more articulate than that... 

but then, i guess that's the thing about jackie: she's never been nor will she ever be everybody's biscuit.