23 June 2016

0 maxed out

i swear by the moon and the stars in the sky, a legitimate writerly effort to fact-check a memory brought me here. but i am now HAUNTED.



this commercial asks a few questions whilst leaving many more unasked...

why is this woman in a garden?

why is she so condescending when she says that most women don't think about maxi pads very often?

do you think she thinks about maxi pads ALLLLLLLL THE TIME?

should we be thinking about maxi pads more?

why is there a table in her garden with packages of maxi pads on it?

who keeps maxi pads in their garden?

this woman, because she thinks about maxi pads ALLLLLLLL THE TIME?

is she a maxi pad designer in addition to being a gardner?

is she even a gardner?

does standing in a garden and holding two cut flowers suggest that one is a gardner?

is her being in a garden a reference to our lady gardens?

why is this GIANT manicured nail seductively tracing the crotch of this maxi pad?

does this GIANT manicured nail belong to the woman in the garden?

who caresses their maxi pads with their GIANT manicured nails?

why is the GIANT manicured nail frozen to highlight the side-gathers?

why is the vaginally freeze-framed GIANT manicured nail not enough?

why were the arrows necessary?

why is there no blue fluid?

how can we understand the functioning and efficacy of this product without the blue fluid?

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