some days ago, k.lo asked me to revamp a website bio that she presented under the subject line "yuck" and later described as "garbage."
opening this file today, i was greeted by what is undoubtedly One Of The Greatest Biographical Sentences Of All Time.
"Kristen is a hopeless romantic, drawn to the enchanting power that comes with being a hairdresser."
it is my new ambition to refer to this line in everything i do and say.
hello, have you met my friend k.lo, a hopeless romantic, drawn to the enchanting power that comes with being a hairdresser?
how did we meet? fun story! i was seated next to her at a church dinner ten years ago and we bonded over a love of the film the painted veil and a shared belief that cholera is sexy. she's a hopeless romantic, you see. and i was probably also, on some level, attracted to the enchanting power she possesses, the power that comes with dressing hair.
you've never had a martini?! my friend k.lo, a hopeless romantic enchanted by the power of hairdressing, and i used to get them every wednesday night.
yeah, i've read fifty shades of gray. i read it aloud to my friend k.lo., a hopeless romantic with an enchanting power unique to hairdressers, while we were on a road trip to oklahoma.
do you see how every story i could possibly tell is enhanced by these details?
in the memoir i will eventually write, she will be: "my dear, dear beloved k.lo, a hopeless romantic, bewitched by the enchanting power that comes with being a hair dresser."
should she predecease me, i will take care to memorialize her as such too.
no lie: i am contemplating changing her name in my phone to this sentence.
it would greatly contribute to my general happiness, i think, and, therefore, the happiness of all.
though, given she's going to be in charge of what kim kardashian would call "my glam" whenever i do have a book to release, perhaps i should play nice. this hopeless romantic is also the most competitive person i know, and it doesn't seem outside the realm of possibility that her hopeless romanticism might lead her to become drunk on the enchanting power of hairdressing and my hair will wind up blue...