10 March 2015

07 JULY 2011

balls up


i am a biographer.

i've been working up the nerve to say that for months. literally. i confessed this to another biographer over ethiopian the other night. about how, prior to now, "becoming" has always crept into this statement because it seemed too ballsy to state that i was, in fact, what i already am.

but a biographer is not a butterfly. it is something you are, not something you become.

every biographer i've met takes a different view of what it means to be a biographer and of how to best go about that. they're all interesting and witty and well-read and absolutely certain that the way they have been a biographer is the only way one can be a biographer.

i listen to them and take in their advice and smile and nod, knowing that- ultimately- i'm already a biographer and i'm going to be one in my own way. likely, in a way that will look like utter insanity and not make a lick of sense.

in that, i keep coming back to these two things:

the sacrifice of expectations and the suspension of disbelief.

i think these are key if you're going to actually be what, deep down, you already are. because you can't create something new unless you give up your plans for how it's going to look and you can't dream big unless you accept that anything can be.

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