08 December 2014

0 bootsed

it's that special time of year again when all the zippers on all my crappy boots jam and my mother and i begin preparing our hearts for our annual mother-daughter bonding Tour of Every Shoe Store in Memphis extravaganza.

we're trying to learn from the past decade of mistakes. i'm not saying we are learning- just that we're trying. because it'd be rather nice to have one year in the 2000s where we didn't spend the day before i return to wherever i live having existential moments in the rack room shoes.

in that vein, debo dispatched me to look at boots online, which- you guys, i gotta be real- was HARROWING. maybe even more so than the rack room shoes. it was an extravaganza that, in the comfort of my own home, still led to plenty 'o existential wonderings.

let's take a look...

floating on the white background of amazon, this looked like half a boot, a ghost boot. then i saw this sandle doo-ma-higy thing (srsly, is a boot no longer a boot? it's also a sandal?)...
and that put things into context, so that i realized, no, this jesus sandal/boot is a ghost boot and the other is more convict stripes. the o brother boot, if you will. 

there were boots of many varieties. 

circumcised...


and uncircumcised... 

even leopard print...

boots wearing shiny pants...
boots wearing the pelts of ewoks...

boots that look like patterned tights with heels attached...
boots for a broken leg...

and my personal favorite: boots with a broken leg...
which shall i choose?


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