01 November 2013

0 jody

in college, there was the afternoon where we were all hanging out at the student union. me and all of the guys i was running around with then. (that makes me sound like a tramp when really i was wendy from peter pan.) we were hanging out with the people who always hung out there, one of whom was named jody.

jody had just gotten a guitar. he was showing off. donovan kept borrowing it to show off as well. and we basically all sat around watching jody and the various other people who grabbed jody's guitar taking turns showing off.

come to think of it, that's pretty much all college was: watching guys take turns showing off. and then going back to the dorm and sitting in front of a computer and writing essays where i showed off, quietly, in a ladylike way that only my professors would see.

but i digress...

so JODY. jody showed off that whole afternoon. we all talked to jody. we all laughed with jody. we all acted like we were jody's friend. and we all of us, every single one, saw that a whole fucking leaf of oregano was stuck on jody's left front tooth.

i know we all of us saw this because it came up three nights later when someone mentioned jody's name at dinner. and CP said, mother of god did you see that thing stuck in jody's teeth?! and the table erupted in exclamations of oh yeah! holy shit! it was like a whole fucking leaf!

and for the rest of our time in college, whenever anyone in our group got something stuck in their teeth, the polite thing to do was to say, man, you're pulling a jody. and the victim could discretely take care of the jody without further humiliation. that guy's name became synonymous with dental hygiene.

i'm writing this now because i just sat through an entire dinner with spinach on my front tooth. so it's safe to say i've made an impression in vienna.

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