yo. IT IS ME!!!
WHERE HAVE I BEEN?? WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING?? BLAH BLAH BLAH. i know, i know. you've missed me.
but, you see, you just don't know what it's like to be AN AMERICAN HEIRESS. there are so many demands upon me. i can barely stand the pressure.
i mean, every time i start to get close to someone, the cameras are pulled out and there are loads of pictures taken to illustrate my emotional neediness, which are then disseminated AROUND THE WORLD.
there is no peace for AN AMERICAN HEIRESS.
and so- like oprah and her mountain in maui- i've been forced to seek refuge, to remain alone.
still, they find me!!!! they pry me out and take more pictures!!!!
but these are the people who control my food supply and also my treats. they fund my AMERICAN HEIRESS lifestyle and so i am enslaved to them. i must sit in their laps and pose for their pictures.
WHERE O WHERE IS MY OLINE?!? she would not allow these injustices. perhaps she has forsaken me because i routinely eat the cheese my captors offer when she expressly forbid me from eating people food.
word is k.smartt and k.clen are coming to liberate me soon. i will be FREE, i tell you. i am AN AMERICAN HEIRESS and i will go my own way.
i could leave this joint in a second were it not for my budding addiction to dairy. if only they had not tranquilized me with milk and... ooooooo CHEESE...
love you, bitches.