15 April 2013

0 a brief message from the vieve

OHMYGOD, WHERE HAVE I BEEN?!?! right?! RIGHT?! i mean, i know that's what you're asking yourselves. i know that's what you've been asking oline. because you are my people, and you need to hear from your queen.

so here i am. giving my people what they want.

why oline persists in attempting to make this blog about anything other than me, i know not. fool! knave! (i've been reading the bard. does it show?)

what have i been up to, you ask? other than improving my mind with extensive reading as mr. darcy suggests? hmm... well, as you know, i have had my furry paws on all of the instruments in the house. this HUGE mansion in which i now live because I AM AN AMERICAN HEIRESS. i am also an Accomplished Woman.

but, truthtime: i find myself lagging, suffering a bit of a depresh. and, i'll confess it, i've been doing some emotional eating. i've put on a little holiday weight.

and even though burvil recently couldn't help but exclaim 'that is a fat cat!' i contend i am not. i'm just overly festive at the present time.

still, much as i loathe oline for not making her blog all about me, sometimes i do pine for the way we were. for the beforetimes, back when oline and i lived in a one room hovel. back before i knew i was AN AMERICAN HEIRESS. back when i had a better bed companion than this.

bearnice is hardly an adequate companion for AN AMERICAN HEIRESS.

y'know, it is hard, being an heiress. no, really, it is. (paris hilton, RESPECT.) there are all these expectations now. all these things i'm obligated to do regardless of whether i wanna. get this- i am actually expected, by the people who control my food supply, to sit in laps.

can you even believe that it has come to this?! that i have sunk so low. ME?! for shame. laps are so limiting. I WILL NOT BE LIMITED. that is why i run for the door every time it is opened. because I MUST BE FREE. i must have my liberty. i will not be tied down.

oooooo, TREATS!!!

love you, bitches!


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