'i will say this about your papers - they are thorough. if prince charles passed gas, they would have before, during, and after pictures, along with an illustrated history of the monarchy, and an illustrated history of passing gas.'
'i've not yet thoroughly investigated the candy aisle. will have to get on that.'
'dude, that was more important than eggs.'
'i like the idea of being happy, but i'm just waiting for something to go wrong.'
'i really feel we turned a corner this weekend in our communications via pictures.'
'i mean, really. could this be his love child from an orientation-experimental phase in the year 2000?'
'i’ve been McCooughna-hankering a burger as well.'
'i remembered we were both usually at work on the "lower" holidays.'
'oh, to work in a bank and not work on any level of holiday!'
'and then we looked him up on IMDB, and i was like “STEVEN EGGELSTON!”'
'i'm curious as to whether we will ever play scrabble again and under what conditions.'
'fortunately, there's wifi at a nearby mcdonald's.'
'please be turned on by my breakfast: two fried eggs (from a FARM in nolensville!!!) and a big bowl of oatmeal swirled with vanilla almond milk, chia seeds, and raspberries.'
'he saw my cap'n crunch sitting on the kitchen counter, and came into my room and asked for the cereal with the zoo keeper on the box.'
'i feel like i am rounding the curve to the slippery slope to eventually not knowing a single person on people.com. thank heavens for a- listers!'
'how do different generations play board games when they are not related? this feat seems scientifically impossible.'
'she lives in london all the time?'
'i'm so obsessed with emoticons. i just can't help it. they make everything better.'
'oh yeah, we're bringing that back.'