18 December 2012
2 rainbo: deep deep thoughts from a friday night
"that man's little ponytail is devastating."
"i think he's from seattle, where it's still hip."
"that guy is wearing an inappropriate amount of denim."
"is he dancing introspectively?"
"he went in knuckles deep and pulled his underpants up. if i had to put money on it, i'd say that was a classic case of too big. he wished himself bigger and woke up with his pants three sizes too small."
"do you think his shins get cold?"
"it's like applebottom jeans but for a guy."
"'this place is not capitalist."
"can we talk for a moment about the beet? there are so many beets that i need to start my own class called meet your beets."
"if he was in a marching band, he wouldn't go around saying 'i'm in a marching band.'"
"these are my nerdy jokes for working in a co-op grocery store."
"i have a frisbee, a yo-yo, and light up kanye glasses."
"august rush can wait."
"the bartender looks too macho to be inside a rainbow."
"is your finger prowess killing you?"
"finger fitness only gets you so far."
"he's not a captain. he's just an enthusiast."
"HE HAS A MONOGRAM SOMEWHERE."
"it's not overly stylized. it's just perfect."
"normally, i'm down with bitterness..."
"i barely get any bars in this place! FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS."
"you don't need bars to quote me."
"that's all that's left... empty corn husks."
"very important question: 2012 santa... would he wear wide whale corduroys or yoga pants?"
"fashion is cyclical and santa knows it."
"he'd be really good at 'jack and diane'."
"she could easily have a guy with a full head of hair."
"why were you guys collecting quarters?"
"because we were that committed to the idea of it being a quarter accepting machine."
"i'm not bob fosse. i can't paint."
"man, leather mini-skirt girl is getting around. if there were a social disease, she'd have it."
"yeah, what you just did there was mash up grenadine and brigadoon. not cool."
"or is it?"
"in my head, brigadoon would taste like peanuts."
"even though both of them are wearing a lot of columbia and northface, i doubt they do a lot of camping."
"he had a lot of muscles for somebody who was only picking up drinks."
"i feel like this bar just got packed with a lot of people i don't care about."
"he worked up a sweat, but she was wearing degree ultra protection."
"everybody needs some mag sag."
"santa shops at the macy's man's department."
"let's judge their teeth."
"because i don't want to get arrested. that's why i wouldn't take my own wine to chuck e. cheese."
"it was like dancing with the stars! but there weren't any stars."