"if i were voting i'd totally vote for an adventuress over some stodgy boring guy with an organized platform. just saying."
"kate and leo really grew into two of the best actors of this generation. i don't think the same will be said of the twilight people."
"i mean, his mom died getting plastic surgery that his success enabled and it didn't phase him too much."
"i was kind of over 'artists/trustfund kids/what does it all mean' types of entertainment last month. i mean, i was having a real 'some people have real problems' kind of mood, but it turned around just in time for me to enjoy the show as a kind of mirror of the last ten years and the people i have known and avoided."
"i can never understand how much i like tom cruise movies compared to how little i like tom cruise as a personality/insane person."
"when he talks it’s like english tries to run away."
"oh america. why are you always failing?"
"geese are the ninjas of the animal kingdom."
"diapered goose: it's the pet of the future."
"all i can say is that it is flavor saver nation here."
"you look so pinterest right now."
"i bring the party wherever i go."
"you know, like the prostitutes in the days of aladdin."
"if by rock star you mean man who wears women's glasses and plays acoustic guitar in a strange (but, albeit good) band then YES."
"why would no one recommend a cardigan for that poor girl?? poor thing. she looks like a 45 year old ex-stripper."
"much like fine wine, my hair seems to only get better with age."
"she's a nice girl, and it was a really fun night until the shots started."
"oh yes. i emoticoned in here."
"did you get my vagina monologue from earlier?"
"for laughter's sake, the tattoo parlor is named 'born this way'."
"you know when you leave a voice message and then you cringe in embarrassment that you didn't erase it before sending? i just left one of those for you. enjoy!"
"you realize you sound like a call girl in that sentence, right?"