in fifth grade, i ran for class secretary. my motto was "TAKE NOTE! GIVE CAROLINE YOUR VOTE!" and i had to give a speech.
this was a big enough deal that my mother came to watch and i cried in the bathroom beforehand.
i lost the election.
BUT... because my opponent was one of my BFFs, the overlords of the student council created a special rule for that year and that year only wherein all the losers got to be on the student council in an advisory capacity.
i don't know if this was a reflection of how much my homeroom teacher- the student council faculty advisor- loved me (she did) or how cognizant teachers were of the tricky dynamics governing middle school girl-girl friendships. either way, it got all us losers grandfathered into student government and out of 5th period, a perk very nearly worth having humiliated myself in front of half the school.
i mention all of this because some months ago, i was coerced into running for the board of the biographers group. having briefly taken leave of my sense, i agreed. and so my political career has risen from the ashes and i'm experiencing a level of dread i've not known since 1990.
it's election week. the ballots went out yesterday. the link to my personal statement went out this morning.
surprisingly little has changed since the fifth grade, when my opponent promised an aggressive agenda of pizza for every lunch and i read aloud from a notecard a declaration that my penmanship was nearly perfect. now my opponents are authors with hyphenated names and published books and legitimate goals they can, in all likelihood, accomplish. in contrast, according to my statement, i am an adventuress who spends much of her day on twitter.