29 September 2011

3 oh father dear

i'm sitting in the back of a cab on my way home from solving myriad international crises in winnipeg when my mother mentions that my father is in great pain because eight days ago he fell while walking the dog and subsequently rolled down the hill that comprises the neighbor's front lawn and this has spiraled into a situation where he experienced arm pain so bad that, on wednesday morning, he googled to determine whether he was in cardiac arrest.

i don't even know how to begin to unpack this.

my father fell while walking? with such force that he tumbled down a hill?? my father tumbled down a hill??!  eight days ago?!?! and i'm just hearing about it now?!??!?!? on the night of the morning that he googled "am i having a heart attack?"?!?!?!!?!

my mother often seeks out anxiety. she's subscribed to the weather channel's blackberry alerts and, at least once every time i'm home, a threatening storm cloud will blow through and she'll awake the entire family in the dead of night to shove us- cats, dogs and all- into the 3 ft. x 2 ft. hall closet for fear a tornado's coming and we'll die asleep in our beds. when she dies, she wants to be alert.

the most alarming element of the aftermath of my father's rolling down the hill is my mother's lack of anxiety. she is totally nonplussed as, calmly, she tells me they've been advised to wait four days before consulting a doctor.

it takes a solid minute for the increasing panic in my voice to weasel out of her that this advice has come from web m.d.


Katie C said...

uh oh. I do not like the sounds of this... Please tell him to get better quickly, k? k. oh. and to see a real dr. web m.d. is crap.

oline said...

i know, right?! i mean, it's not as though he'd consulted a real authority like, say, dr. michaela quinn...

The Whiffer said...

I hope he's ok. I hope he's going to see a real life physician.
this post is writing gold.