20 July 2011

7 t-minus 2 hours

going to paris was part of the story. if not jackie's then mine. i knew that as far back as march, when the light in new york was not enough and i decided- practicality be damned- i was going to paris.

i didn't know if someone was going to go with me or what the hell was going to happen when i got there or what i was going to do, but i had to go. that was non-negotiable.

and so i was in paris for twelve hours last monday. i wandered and walked, knowing i was right where i was supposed to be and wondering what i was supposed to be doing there.

i need a purpose. a reason. i find it hard to simply be.

so for those first ten hours in paris i was on the hunt. systematically, i hit all the high points of that city i love, all the while eyes peeled for whatever it was that had brought me there and whatever it was i would be bringing back with me.

and i got nothing.

the fries were gone. jackie's houses were uninspiring and my travels uneventful. at one point, desperate, i picked up a rock from a walkway by the eiffel tower because at least then, if i returned without a tale, without words, i'd at least have something tangible from this trip that i could hold in my hand.

with two hours left- annoyed, tired and with terribly sore feet- i collapsed on a bench in the back garden of notre dame.  half an hour later, my story sat down on the opposite bench.

this is a useful metaphor. or at least i choose to see it as such because it is evidence that i am not crazy. paris was part of the story. and the story is always there, whether it looks as we imagined or not.


Linda said...


oline said...


Osutein said...


oline said...

never fear, sensei. it's this week's naked lady bar submission, so you'll see soon enough.

Osutein said...


oline said...

whatever. dude, everybody in the naked lady bar knows we don't do our editing until 4 pm day of!

Katie said...

i want to read the story! (but not edit it because that is not within my scope of practice :)