12 March 2010

6 decline & fall

so last night katie i and i finally went ice skating. i'm going to blame the ensuing crimes against athletics on the fact that it is difficult to skate on ice when it is 60°. i'm sure it had nothing to do with our sedentary lifestyles. nor the cupcakes we devoured just before.


Les Savy Ferd said...

LOVE ice-skating.

(gather 'round youngins whilst grampa dougo tells a story)

My first time ice-skating was actually on a pond that may or may not have been contaminated by nuclear waste. It was in a rural western new york town of West Valley which has a nuclear material waste disposal plant, so everyone calls it 'Waste Valley' (they're so droll). There are homemade billboards up and down the highway leading into and out of town of giant skulls with those nuclear symbols for eyes.

The friends of the family we were visiting had a huge house (property values being somewhat depreciated) and a bunch of kids all named proper nouns like "Hope" "Will" and yes, "Faith". All were exceedingly smart but two of them grew very tall, like a foot taller than their parents.

The youngest son even started for the Harvard basketball team until he was vacationing in Florida and somebody threw a brick from an overpass that smashed through his car's steering column and his knee, ending his sports career.

Anyhow, good times.

oline said...

i imagine you were wearing a cosby sweater and chomping a cigar when you told that story.

Les Savy Ferd said...

well, i certainly sat down on a tree stump and pulled out the ole smoking pipe. First ya turn it upside-down and tap out the spent backy before tamping down a new batch and lighting 'er up.

oline said...

ew. you said "backy." of course jazz hands were my primary means of balance last night so i cannot poke fun.

Les Savy Ferd said...

oh, to be a fly on the wall of that rink. Or is the fly metaphor only used when overhearing things? Either way, I would like to have seen all this. Is there a small bug that sees well? Boy, I sure wish i was a beetle on the wall of that rink.

oline said...

but were you a beetle on the wall of the rink, the odds are pretty high i would've crashed into you at some point. and you would be a dead dougo beetle. and that would be sad.