"isn't it time for her to film another movie about very attractive british people who have serious romantical troubles during a variety of wars?"
"in my mind, the entirety of chicago is just waiting to be with you."
"thin mints are delicious, but they suck all the moisture out of my face."
"you are the great chicago princess."
"he's such a lonely lonely man who, in an attempt to be 'cool' and have something to speak to me about, has started watching american idol."
"if there's a prom department in hell, people will be sent to the separates room."
"so i would say that redeemed the experience- $45 for three hours in a hotel and a waffle."
"if my mother becomes a crazy old lady... i mean the cats don't live in the house but..."
"honey, boys do not kiss girls in caftans."
"who the hell is biscuit?"
"we might need to wait until after you're married or we will gain 500 pounds and you will have trouble finding a cutie."
"i want to do fun exciting new yorkish things, i just haven't decided what exactly those should be."
"we're in the airport. there could be people in here who flew straight in from africa and didn't wash their hands after playing with dead monkeys."
"you just march in there and ask them what cheese you ate last night."
"the moving walkway is not a toy."
"i don't want other people's sweaty feathers."
"i have decided facebook is a wilderness that consists mainly of 'are now friends' and 'are fans of.'"
"i told him he needed to read a book, or pay closer attention to the many romantic comedies i make him watch."
"i have such a bad attitude about menstruation."
"it makes you wonder what was the management decision of pants versus no pants."
"an old person on every iceberg!"
"mice usually wear pants."
"that's why democracy works: nobody wins."
"i don't celebrate Jesus holidays."
"i always wanted to go on family feud but then i'd look at my family and... ugh."
"i don't give to homeless people. i over-tip waiters instead."
"unfortunately, that elvis impersonator with the charismatic loins has now become my barometer for sexual attraction. this is not good."